Written By Luna Watfe
Translated to English by Diane Lockyer
Report on 8/12/21 of the hearings concerning the witness and plaintiff, Nouran Al-Ghamyan.
My name is Nouran.
“I am breathing very slowly and observing what is happening inside my head while everyone around me is nodding and it gives me the impression they are waiting for my every word. Yet everything inside me is preventing the word from coming out!
It is not the fact that I am appearing before the court and the judiciary that proves difficult for me, but rather “the beginning.” The beginning has always been a challenge for me and beginnings are exhausting!
In general, I do not know how to start or where to begin. Every day and since the first moments of my waking, all I think about is escaping from the beginning, the beginning of the day, the beginning of the rituals of waking up, of work, education, home, duties, thinking, meditating and each day looking at new faces in a way that is devoid of all meaning.
Can you imagine that one’s whole life may now begin all over again when you are in the middle of it? You have to start it all over again from scratch, or practically from zero! On one hand, due to your presence in a foreign country, everything is completely different from the country you lived in and everything you have experienced previously. On the other hand, the experiences, the convictions and the ideas that made you what you are, as well as society under the regime’s control, played a primary role in shaping your life!
Life was based on a system of fear, terror and insecurity that made you believe that demanding your rights was not your right in the first place!
I am now starting from scratch in my practical as well as my psychological life at the same time. You can imagine how beginnings like this demand so much energy, effort, will and inner peace! A life that can never be turned back!
I do not like to be in the position of the victim nor do I accept that vision of myself, since each one of us is responsible for his actions, no matter how difficult the circumstances one has been through during the course of one’s life.
However, this does not change the fact that the political, social and dictatorial system plays the most important part in forming our personalities, or rather destroying them! Or, to be more precise, there was no opportunity at all to better one’s character for anyone who belonged to this people and who lived under this regime.
I believe in justice and I believe in the importance of this trial and the verdict that will be handed down, and the impact this verdict will have on the future, not only of Syria but on society as a whole, especially as it is the first step of its kind since the start of the revolution up until now.
I hope the esteemed judges and jury will take into account that this verdict can change the lives of millions depending on its outcome because of its importance to Syria and its people.”